


I Think I'm Falling For You

by Wheres_my_badger



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: And now here I am, Anyways, Because they are cute, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, I resisted them for so long, I'm trying my best, Jaehyungparkian, M/M, Well - Freeform, because I live of fluff, because I'm not sure where this will go, brian shouldn't tell lies, but yeah, cute dowoon, idk how to tag this, jae is oblivious, jealous wonpil, like I needed anymore people to ruin my life, look who's fallen for yet another group, probably, side dopil, sungjin is just laughing at the back, thats it for now, this is my first story for day6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2018-12-21 14:24:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11946132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wheres_my_badger/pseuds/Wheres_my_badger
Summary: Brian has a crush, Jae is completely oblivious, Dowoon is cute, Wonpil is jealous and Sungjin is really just having a lot of fun





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, guys, this is my first day6 fan fiction. I'm not sure about what I'm doing, but... yeah. That's it.  
> Hope you like, feedback is appreciated, as well as suggestions!!!
> 
> I take requests for fanfictions at the link https://booksfanficsandstuff.tumblr.com or in the comments section, the groups I write for are in my profile ^.^

This story could start from any point since Jae and Brian met. It could start from their very first meeting, or from the moment they became roommates. Or maybe from the moment they started getting closer, or when Brian started thinking of Jae on a… different light. But, for the sake of length, it will begin on the moment Brian noticed – or accepted – what those thoughts about Jae, that started crossing his mind more and more often, really meant.

 

Brian woke up to someone snuggled up to him. He opened his eyes, confused. Not that the situation was unusual, it really wasn’t, but Brian remembered falling asleep alone the night before, so he thought his confusion was justified. He looked down, trying to identify the culprit, only to be greeted by a head of blond hair, which was sticking in every direction. Jae. As expected.

He sighed, trying to disentangle the boy from him, but couldn’t keep a little smile from lighting up his face. ‘He looks adorable’, he thought, only to shake his head, the smile disappearing. It wasn’t the first time he thought something like that about Jae, far from that. But these thoughts were coming more and more often, and they were starting to sound less like ‘he’s cute, I want to pinch his cheeks’ and more like… well, something else, and Brian was starting to freak out. So he sighed again, trying to rub his eyes with his free hand.

He continued working on getting his limbs separated from Jae’s – the older had managed to get them quite tangled – occupying his mind with that so that it wouldn’t wander to dangerous places.

He was almost free, just trying to figure a way of getting his arm from under Jae without waking the older up, when Dowoon’s head popped out from the top bunk.

“Hyung, what are you doing?”

Brian jumped up, screaming, and ended up falling on top of Jae. The older let out an ‘Oof’, quickly sitting up, startled, making Brian fall out of the bed. Brian wanted to cry. So much time and effort, for nothing.

“What the hell, Dowoon?”

Asked the bassist, standing up, rubbing his hip where it had hit the ground. Dowoon tilted his head to the side, pouting.

“Sorry, hyung. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Brian huffed, but he could never get angry with Dowoon. It was impossible. He turned to Jae. The boy was rubbing his eyes, yawning. Brian supressed the thought he could feel forming in his mind.

“It’s ok.”

He said to Dowoon, instead. The younger was sitting cross-legged in his bed, hair as messy as Jae’s. Brian thought he looked adorable, too, but this only made him more uneasy, because there was an obvious difference in the way he thought that about Dowoon and the way he thought that about Jae. Dowoon fit in the ‘cheek pinching’ category. The bassist shook his head again.

“But what were you doing, hyung?”

Pressed the younger. Brian shrugged.

“This koala thought I looked like a good pillow and didn’t want to let me go.”

He explained. Jae sleepily blew a raspberry at him, and Brian’s heart didn’t skip a beat, not at all.

“Then why didn’t you just wake Jae hyung up, hyung?”

Asked Dowoon. Brian froze. The honest answer? He didn’t want to wake Jae up, because the boy looked so peaceful and cute when he slept, and Brian knew how tired he was, and wanted to let Jae sleep for as long as possible. But he had a reputation to keep. He couldn’t just say that, he’d be teased for the rest of his life. So he snorted.

“And let him shower first? No, thanks.”

He said, laughing. Jae pouted and Brian looked away.

“And here I thought you cared about me and how much I slept.”

Said Jae. His voice was raspy, as it was the first time he spoke since waking up, and it definitely didn’t send shivers down Brian’s spine.

“Nope. But it’s ok to dream, hyung.”

He said, and left the room smiling teasingly and ignoring the way his heart was beating unusually fast as Jae shook his head and smiled at him.

 

Later on that same day, Brian was sitting on the floor, trying to think of the next line for his verse, when someone sat by his side. He didn’t need to look to know it was Jae, because he recognized the smell of the boy’s shampoo. Which, by the way... oh no, he’s not going down that road right now.

“Hey.” Said the older boy, quietly. Brian hummed, a sign that it was ok for Jae to continue talking. “Sorry for going to your bed without your consent.”

This made Brian look up, closing his notebook. Jae was looking at him, as if searching for something on Brian’s eyes.

“Why are you apologizing? You never apologized before.”

He asked, confused. Jae smiled sheepishly.

“You’re right. I just… I don’t know, you seemed a bit uneasy today, when Dowoon asked you what you were doing.”

Brian shook his head.

“You know I don’t mind it when you sleep in my bed, Jae.”

He said. The ‘hyung’ was only used when they talked in Korean, which they didn’t do when they were alone. Jae nodded.

“I know. But it doesn’t hurt to make sure of that.”

Brian nodded. He knew Jae’s policy was ‘communication is the key to every and any healthy relationship’. He probably should live by that too, but right now he’d rather not. He wasn’t even communicating properly with himself, let alone with others.

“Don’t worry about it. Just try not to choke me next time, you leech.”

Jae laughed.

“What can I do? You’re very comfy.”

He joked, lying his head on Brian’s shoulder to demonstrate his point. Brian hoped the little squeak he let out could be interpreted as a chuckle.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now get out, I need to finish this.”

Said the younger, shrugging Jae off his shoulder. The older only laughed and ruffled Brian’s hair, getting up to leave. He was already by the door when he turned around, a fake seductive smile on his lips.

“Next time you’ll be the little spoon, babe.”

He said, winking and cackling as he left. Brian was not blushing. He absolutely wasn’t. Him and Jae joked like that all the time and it had never affected him, he wouldn’t let it start now.

 

The rest of the day passed without any more incidents. Brian was a bit frustrated; no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t come up with anything he considered good. And this was making him anxious, especially because he had no idea what was hindering his progress. So, yeah, he was frustrated.

Dowoon had knocked on his door, earlier, to tell him the group was going home. He had simply told the maknae that he would stay a while longer, since he wanted to write at least a little bit, and the boy had nodded, telling him to not overwork himself. Brian had nodded and gone back to his notebook, glad that there would be no more interruptions.

So when there was a knock on his door, a few hours later, Brian was surprised. He looked up, only to see Jae poking his head through the door. He looked significantly at the younger, and Brian sighed. He could convince Dowoon, no problem, but Jae was a stubborn little shit. Brian had no chance and he knew it.

He put his notebook away and got up, following the older boy. Maybe it was good to get a break, anyways. He didn’t even question why Jae was still at the company.  
“Though day?” Asked the older, as they made their way out of the building. Brian sighed and nodded. “Don’t worry, tomorrow will be better.”

Brian nodded again. The silence settled once more.

They walked like that for a while, in silence, but it wasn’t the comfortable silence that they sometime fell in. It was tense, for some reason, and Brian didn’t like it at all. Jae was his best friend. He was supposed to make Brian comfortable, not make him even tenser after an already shitty day. He was about to say something when Jae looked at him, and then no sound came out of Brian’s open mouth.

Jae frowned. Then he took off his jacket and handed it to Brian. The younger looked at Jae confused.

“What…?”

He started, but Jae interrupted him by impatiently putting the jacket on Brian’s shoulder. The bassist had to quickly grab it, to keep it from falling.

“You were shivering. I’m wearing warmer clothes than you, so you can keep it.”

He said. Brian was once again speechless. He raked his mind, trying to remember if Jae had done that before, but his mind was spinning a bit – it had nothing to do with the fact that the jacket smelled like Jae, not at all – and he couldn’t come up with an answer. Jae snorted, and Brian noticed he was staring. He looked away, fighting a blush, and put on the jacket. He was cold, after all. There was another moment of silence.

“But then you’ll get cold.”

Mumbled the younger. Jae laughed.

“You say that, but you’ve already put the jacket on.” He teased. Brian glared and made to take off the offensive piece of clothing, but Jae shook his head. “I’m joking, idiot. Plus, you can always hold my hand to keep me at least a little warm.”

He said, winking at the younger boy. Yeah, Brian was fucked.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I take requests for fanfictions at the link https://booksfanficsandstuff.tumblr.com or in the comments section, the groups I write for are in my profile ^.^

That night, Brian took a long time to fall asleep. He tried to ignore the jumble of thoughts that was his mind, tried to pretend he didn’t know what was going on, but after an hour of this he simply gave up with a heavy sigh. His mind kept going back to the warm feeling he had felt on his chest when he woke up with Jae by his side, then to the feeling of Jae’s jacket – too big on him, because Jae was taller, and so warm – around him, along with the boy's sweet scent. He swore he could still smell it on his skin. It wandered to those thoughts he had been supressing, and Brian knew he couldn’t do it anymore.

He had started noticing long ago that his thoughts about Jae were no longer innocent and friend-like, but he pretended not to see it, for the sake of his sanity. But he couldn’t do it anymore. He had to face the truth and he knew it. And the truth was that he had a crush on Jae. He had a crush on Jae, and it wasn’t even recent, because even if he couldn’t pinpoint exactly when he’d started feeling like that, he knew that it had started months earlier.

‘Fuck’, he thought, rubbing his face. Why did he have to fall for his best friend, of all people? He’d been there already; he knew how this sort of thing ended. He didn’t want his relationship with Jae to go the same way as… he didn’t want Day6 to… fuck, he was so absolutely fucked.

He breathed in deeply. ‘Ok, Brian, calm down, yeah? It’ll be ok. You can solve this.’ He told himself. All he had to do was ignore it. If he pretended Jae was just a friend and nothing else, he’d eventually convince his heart of that. Right?

And with that in mind he fell asleep.

 

When Brian woke up on the next day, he was once again surprised to notice there was someone else in the bed with him. This time, though, instead of having his limbs completely tangled with the other person’s, there was an arm around his waist, hugging him close. His legs were indeed tangled with someone else’s and he could feel that someone breathing softly against the top of his head. Jae.

He almost groaned at the situation. Instead, he remembered all of the times they’d slept like this and started making his way out of the older’s embrace, ignoring the sense of safety that he felt with Jae’s arms around him like that.

This time around, Brian was successful, and neither Dowoon nor Jae woke up as he sneaked out of the room.

He passed the bathroom and heard the water running. Probably Sungjin. He headed to the kitchen, thinking of what to eat.

 

Brian was still eating when Sungjin entered the kitchen, already dressed for the day. The leader rolled his eyes at the bassist, who was still in his pyjamas, looking more like he was getting ready to bed than anything else.

“You should shower.” Said Sungjin, sitting in front of Brian. “Wonpil is almost done, you can go when he’s out.”

Brian snorted.

“Morning to you too, Sungjinie hyung.”

He said in an overly cute voice. Sungjin huffed at him, but Brian had gotten very good in noticing the fondness on the leader’s eyes.

“Go shower.”

He said, getting something to eat.

Brian was considering actually following the leader’s order when Wonpil entered the room, but soon after him came Jae, who sat next to Brian, slinging an arm around the bassist’s shoulder, and then Brian couldn't move.

“Hey, babe. Did you sleep well? I know you love being the little spoon.”

Brian almost chocked at Jae’s words. And then he remembered that it was Jae, and that the older always did that. And that he used to reply in the same teasing way, before he noticed that when he said it, it wasn’t entirely jokingly. But he had a plan and he needed to keep to it, so he smirked as well as he could.

“I always sleep well when I’m with you, but you know I’m not the submissive one, darling.”

He could feel his ears warming as he said it, even though they’d joked like that thousands of times before. He was scared that now that he knew about his crush, the others would be able to see right through his facade and… Sungjin’s snort broke Brian’s train of thought.

“As if.”

He said, laughing. At that Brian turned to him, frowning. Because what? He totally was the dominant one.

“Excuse me?”

He asked. Sungjin laughed again, and Jae and Wonpil watched on, eager.

“Brian, there’s no way you’re the dominant one between you and Jae. C’mon, everyone knows that.”

Brian was gaping. How dare he?

“What, you wanna tell me Jae is the dominant? C’mon, hyung, you can’t…”

And then it hit him just what they were discussing. He wanted to keep his cheeks from reddening, he really did, but it wasn’t like he controlled that. Because really, it made no difference what he thought, or what Sungjin thought, or what anyone thought about that, because him and Jae weren’t on a relationship, damnit, and they would never be.

The kitchen was completely silent, and Brian noticed the others were waiting for him to finish his sentence. But Brian didn’t know what to say; he didn’t even remember what he had been about to say. And at that moment Dowoon entered the room, wearing nothing but boxers and one of Wonpil’s sweaters, and the attention shifted from Brian’s and Jae’s non-existent relationship to the way Wonpil blushed, before squeaking and falling from his chair.

As everyone laughed, Brian let his eyes wander to Jae, and he didn’t notice Sungjin watching them with a calculating gaze. 

 

Brian had thought – and hoped – that the kitchen incident would be forgotten and never mentioned again. He had that illusion for about half a day, before Jae came to ask him if he wanted to go eat and Brian naively agreed. He should know better than to hang out with Jae alone, considering the current situation, but he had always had difficulty denying Jae anything.

They went to a little restaurant near the company, where they always ate when they had the time to actually go out. It was all going well, they talked about what Jae was composing and about how Brian had managed to make progress on the song from the previous day. So when they sat down to eat, Brian was not expecting Jae to bring up the kitchen incident.

“So.” Started the older. This was already more than enough for Brian to take a few steps back, figuratively. “What was that about, earlier?”

Brian eyed Jae, trying to understand where this conversation was going.

“Uhn… what are you talking about?”

He asked, cautiously.

“During breakfast. You were arguing with Sungjin and then you suddenly stopped. I never got to hear your winning argument on why you are the dominant one.”

Explained Jae, smirking at the end. Brian could feel his cheeks heating and he wanted to become one with the table.

“I, uhn…”

He started, but he had nothing to say. At all. His mind was blank. Jae laughed.

“Oh, so you don’t have an argument, is that it?”

Brian glared. Not because of the accusation, that was a topic for another time, but because he didn’t know how else to answer.

“That’s not…”

Jae interrupted him.

“It’s ok, babe, I got you. I can take care of you in…”

“Will you stop!?”

Thankfully, the restaurant was mostly empty, otherwise Brian’s scream would have gotten quite some attention. As it was, it was only Jae, staring at him, seeming surprised. Brian sighed and buried his face in his hands.

“Sorry. Sorry, I didn’t mean to… to upset you.”

Said the older, voice soft. Brian wanted to punch him in the face. Or punch himself in the face. Or both.

“No, I should apologize. You were just… doing what we always do.”

The bassist hadn’t meant to say that, but seeing Jae look so sad had a weird effect on him.

“Well, yeah, I guess… but you’re clearly uncomfortable, why are you uncomfortable?”

There. The question he had been dreading. So much for acting normal.

“It’s just… I… I like… someone.”

Said Brian. Not like it was a lie, after all. He regretted it immediately, though, as Jae’s eyes widened. ‘That’s it, he’s figured it out. And now I’ll have to move to some dark corner in Peru and spend the rest of my life amongst wild llamas’, he thought. And then Jae began grinning and what? What the hell?

“Oh my god, why didn’t you say anything? I would’ve stopped if I knew, dude. You have to tell me these things!”

What? What the hell was Jae thinking?

“Jae, what are you talking about?”

Asked the bassist, absolutely confused. Jae’s smile could have blinded someone.

“You have a crush! That’s why you haven’t been joking around with me and why you were so weird about me sleeping in your bed, right? You’re afraid they’ll think we’re together!”

No. No, it wasn’t right, it was very freaking far from right. Or… well, maybe not so much, he got it half right. But Jae thought he liked someone else, when really, Brian was just head over hells for the guitarist. But… he couldn’t say that. If he told Jae that that wasn’t the reason, the older would demand an explanation and Brian didn’t have an explanation that didn’t involve him embarrassing himself and destroying his relationship with Jae. So he nodded. That was probably one of his biggest mistakes.


	3. Chapter 3

Jae was staring at him with eyes wide and a grin slowly forming on his face. Brian panicked. That expression couldn’t mean something good. The bassist looked around, trying to understand what had put the expression of doom on Jae’s face, but beside the guitarist there was only him and Dowoon in the dorm.

They were on the living room, and Dowoon had come to him with a cut on his ring finger and had pouted until Brian rolled his eyes and got up to get a Band-Aid. After having a minions Band-Aid put on his finger, Dowoon had happily hugged Brian, lying on the older’s lap afterwards, claiming that all of the blood loss had made him sleepy. Brian had only laughed and rolled his eyes fondly. Dowoon was a like kid sometimes, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

So right now he was playing with the younger’s hair and smiling, thinking about how the band had become his family, in some very weird way, or something else equally as cheesy. Or he was, until he noticed Jae had entered the room and was staring at them from the door. Which led them to where they were now, Jae smiling like a Cheshire cat and Brian fearing for his life.

“Uhn, Jae hyung?”

Dowoon’s voice once again startled Brian to the point of jumping. This time around he didn’t fall, at least. He probably gave Dowoon a nice bump on the head, though, and the drummer got up from his lap, pouting.

“Oh my god, Dowoonie, I’m so sorry!”

Said the bassist, running his hand over the spot he had just hit. He pretended not to notice the grin growing on Jae’s face; he could deal with that later.

"Hyung~"

Whined Dowoon, pouting. Brian continued to rub the probably sore spot.

"Sorry, sorry, you startled me."

Dowoon sighed.

"Its ok. Don’t worry, hyung."

Brian rubbed one last time and let go, smiling when Dowoon laid back down on his lap, forgetting about Jae and his question to the oldest. Brian, however, didn’t let it go as easily. He turned to Jae once he was sure Dowoon's eyes were closed and raised an eyebrow. Jae shook his head. Then mouthed something like 'I got it, don't worry'. Brian should definitely have asked him about that, but before he could Jae was gone, yelling something about buying milk.

"Hyung, we have a lot of milk here."

Said Dowoon. Brian shook his head.

"I've given up on trying to understand Jae."

He said. Dowoon chuckled.

 

Later that night, when Brian and Jae were alone in their room – because Dowoon was only ever there to sleep, otherwise he was with Wonpil on the older’s room – Brian found out he definitely shouldn’t have lied to Jae about his crush.

They were sitting in their respective beds, each one on their phone, and Brian was too comfortable to question Jae about his earlier behavior. And then he felt someone staring at him, only to turn around and see Jae, headed tilted, looking at him with a weird expression. He opened his mouth to ask if the older was ok, but Jae was faster.

"Why didn't you ever tell me you were gay?"

Asked the older. Brian's eyes widened and he chocked on his on saliva.

"What?"

He asked back, his cheeks as red as tomatoes. Jae was smiling softly, as if he was afraid of scaring Brian. Well, too late.

"Its ok. Really, I don't mind."

Brian couldn't think. He was still trying to understand how he had gotten in that situation.

"What... how... what?"

Jae chuckled. 

"You have a crush on Dowoon, no?"

What?

"What?"

Brian blinked. He was using that word way too often lately. Jae sighed, and started talking as if he was talking to a small child.

"You said you have a crush. I've been paying attention, and I can tell its Dowoon. Therefore..."

Said Jae, smiling smugly. Oh sweet Jesus, Brian was fucked. He was so utterly fucked. He shouldn't have lied.

"Jae, I told you that earlier today. There was no time between then and now for you to ‘pay attention’ to anything. Plus, why would me liking Dowoon mean I'm gay?"

Jae sighed dramatically, shaking his head.

"Oh, my poor friend in love. It is obvious that you like Dowoonie, I don't know why it took me so long to notice. And you're right, you're probably bi, or something else, but..."

Brian interrupted him.

"No, I'm gay, whatever, that's not the point. But Jae, I don't..."

"I said not to worry, I've got you. Soon you and Dowoon will be together and you'll thank me."

And saying that he left the room claiming he was going to brush his teeth. Fuck. Wonpil was going to kill Brian. How in hell could Jae be so freaking blind?

 

When Brian woke up the next morning, he was alone in his bed. He sighed in relief, relaxing for a moment, before remembering that he was alone because Jae thought he had a crush on Dowoon and planned to get Brian and the maknae together. At the he groaned, burying his face on his pillow. Where had he gone wrong to deserve this? 

Sighing, he got up. Jae was still asleep, mumbling something in a language Brian didn’t recognize. A smile threatened to form on the bassist’s lips, but he bit on the inside of his cheek, repressing it. He was trying to suffocate his crush on Jae, not feed it, and thoughts like ‘even his nonsensical sleep-talk is adorable’ did not help at all.

He looked up, only to find that Dowoon wasn’t on his bed. Actually, the boy’s bed was perfectly made, and Brian knew that the younger hadn’t just made it as soon as he woke up, because that would have certainly woken him up. Which left two options: either Dowoon had fallen asleep on the couch or he had slept with Wonpil. The latter was way more likely. Brian rubbed his temples. He could practically see Wonpil slowly killing him if he ever dared to try anything with Dowoon.

The bassist headed out of his room, only to find that Dowoon wasn’t in the couch. In Wonpil’s room, than as expected. He shook his head, thinking of eating first but deciding to shower first and avoid Sungjin’s nagging. Quickly grabbing his clothes from his room, he headed to the bathroom, avoiding looking at Jae's still sleeping form.

He was in the middle of showering, the warm water helping him relax and forget about the mess he had gotten himself into, when someone banged on the door, making him jump and almost fall. He managed to grab onto the door, avoiding a very embarrassing accident, but now his relaxation had gone down the drain, quite literally.

“Yah, Brian, hurry up! There are other people to shower, you know?”

Brian rolled his eyes. He should have know that it was impossible to avoid Sungjin’s nagging.

He yelled something about finishing soon and resumed his shower, missing the times when they weren’t all at the dorm at the same time and he could take long showers in peace, without the fear of someone slamming at the door outside or barging in.

He had just put on his pants when Jae barged into the room. Brian squeaked and covered his chest with the shirt he had been about to put on. Jae raised an eyebrow. Brian glared and let his arms fall. He felt self-conscious – even though they’d seen each other wearing less than that – but he’d rather die than to let Jae know that.

“Dude, I wasn’t done!”

He said. Jae rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

He said, starting to take off his shirt. Brian fought a blush and rushed out of the room, still half undressed.

Once in his room he breathed in deeply and finished dressing himself. Why had he gotten so nervous? It was just Jae. Brian had seen him shirtless before. Hell, he had seen Jae naked before. Was his crush so serious that he couldn’t even see his friend without a shirt anymore?

He reached to his right, feeling around for his comb and frowning when he didn’t find it. And then he remembered that in his hurry he had left it at the bathroom. Brian groaned, letting himself fall on the bed. Why? Just why? He got up, sighing. Well, Jae was probably showering by now, so he could perfectly well get in, grab his comb and get out without the older even noticing.

And so he did exactly that. Or… well, he tried. Except as soon as he entered the bathroom he was greeted with the sight of Jae naked, ass turned to Brian as the water fell down his body. Brian’s mouth fell open as he stared, the heat slowly rising to his cheeks. And them, as if things couldn’t get worse, Jae turned around and cleaned the water out of his eyes, opening them.

Brian’s eyes widened and if he had been blushing before now his face was literally on fire. He averted his eyes, pretending he hadn’t just been staring at his best friend’s naked body. Jae chuckled. Brian just wanted to die.

“Take a picture, Bribri, it lasts longer.”

He joked. If Brian could, he’d dig a hole right there, bury himself in it, and never come out again.


	4. Chapter 4

Brian sat down on his bed, running a hand through his hair, frustrated. Fucking hell, what had he just done? Not only had he walked in on Jae showering, but he had also completely embarrassed himself by staring at his friend and then running away. Because that wasn’t suspicious at all.

That was it, he was doomed. If Jae hadn’t figured it out by the way Brian was staring at him, then he sure as fuck would notice with the way he had reacted, blushing and running away like a schoolboy with a crush. He was ruined. Jae would hate him and start avoiding him, and the band would fall apart, and all because he couldn’t… The door opened before Brian could finish that thought, and then he had to redirect all of his strength to keeping his reactions under control.

Jae walked into the room wearing only his pants, hair still a bit wet and towel hanging from his shoulders. Brian nodded at him, pretending to fix something in his outfit and acting as if he hadn’t just walked in on Jae showering a few moments earlier. He expected the older to simply nod back and go on with getting ready, but instead, Jae made his way to Brian’s bed and sat down next to the bassist.

Brian’s heart was beating so loudly he was scared Jae might hear it. The older turned to him. It took all Brian had not to look down at the guitarist’s naked chest. He could feel a blush spreading on his cheeks, but kept his eyes on Jae’s.

“So, what was that back in the bathroom? You looked like you’d seen a ghost. And, I mean, it’s not like we haven’t seen each other naked before.”

Asked Jae, after examining Brian’s face for a second. The youngest gulped silently, trying to wet his throat and begging his voice to work. Why couldn't Jae just let it go?

“Who the hell even showers with the curtains open?”

He asked, more to avoid answering Jae’s question then to get an answer. His voice was surprisingly steady, for which he was glad. Jae rolled his eyes.

“I do!” Answered the older. “And what do you think, walking into the bathroom like that while I was showering? You’re lucky Dowoon was asleep, what would he think of that? Seriously Brian, you need to be more careful if you plan to win him!”

For a second Brian was lost, before remembering that Jae thought he had a crush on Dowoon. He didn’t who he wanted to hit more, himself or Jae.

“Oh Jesus… Jae, for fucks sake, it’s not like that!”

Said Brian, burying his face in his hands. Jae squinted at him, trying to understand what had been the problem. Then he raised an eyebrow.

“Then is this about you being gay? Cause really, dude, I don’t mind. Would be a bit hypocritical, really, considering that I’ve seen you naked before, too, and I’m bisexual.”

Brian looked up, eyes wide. For a second the little flame of hope in his heart grew, because if Jae liked boys… and then it died down again, because Jae was absolutely bent on getting Brian with another boy, completely oblivious to the fact that Brian was head over heels for him. He rolled his eyes, ignoring the way his heart broke a little at that thought.

“It’s not about that. I just…”

He didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t have anything else to say.

“C’mon, I could tell you were uncomfortable. I just want to know why, so that I don’t make you uncomfortable again.”

Explained the older. Brian almost snorted, but it wasn’t like he could just say ‘Hey, you’re making me uncomfortable right now!’. He couldn’t do that. Because it wasn't Jae’s fault, it really wasn’t. It was Brian’s, for being stupid enough to make the same mistake twice. So he just shook his head and lied.

“You don’t make me uncomfortable. I just wasn’t expecting to see you like that, and… well, I guess it’s a bit of what you said, too. I mean, now you know I’m gay, so… yeah.”

Said the younger. Lies, lies, lies. He hated lying to Jae. But at the moment it seemed like the best option. Jae shook his head.

“As I said, I would be a hypocrite if I was angry about that. Plus, it isn’t just because you’re gay that you’re attracted to every man that walks past you, that’s stupid, and really, you could get anyone you wanted, why would you like me?”

Said the boy, with a little humourless laugh. For a second Brian got the urge to laugh at how wrong Jae was with that last statement. And then it really dawned on him and he frowned. It was on moments like that that he was reminded that no matter how confident Jae acted all the time, his self-esteem wasn’t all that great. It showed on little acts and things he said, things that usually went unnoticed. But not to Brian.

“You’re kidding me, right? Dude, anyone would be lucky to have you. Have you ever looked yourself in the mirror?”

He said, a bit uncertain. He had done that before, but back then he hadn’t been aware of his crush. He hadn’t been worrying about spilling too much of his feelings accidentally.

Jae smirked at that, but Brian could still see a hint on insecurity in his eyes and smile. It made him angry, that Jae couldn’t see what he saw.

“Oh yeah? So you want a bit of this?” He asked, gesturing to himself. Brian huffed, trying not to blush or look down, because he had just been reminded that Jae was very close and very much shirtless. But before he could answer, Jae bit his lip. “Oh, sorry, I forgot. Sorry, I’m just used to it.”

He said. Brian opened his mouth to complain, but stopped himself. This was what he wanted, right? For Jae to stop being so flirty all the time, so that Brian could extinguish the little flame of hope that grew on his heart whenever the older fake-flirted with him. But if this was what he wanted, why did Jae’s words feel so bitter to him?

“Don’t worry about that.”

He said, forcing a smile on his face. Jae smiled back, eyes crinkling, and Brian could’ve died right there. Jae then got up and squeezed his shoulder.

“But seriously, Bri, I really don't mind, so please don't feel like anything has to change just because I know about it now, ok?" Brian nodded, sighing. He knew Jae was talking about his sexuality. It did make him a bit less anxious, knowing that the older didn't hate him for it. "And just kwon that I’m here if you need to talk about anything, ok?”

He said, before letting go of Brian and heading to his wardrobe. Brian sighed silently and lay down, closing his eyes. His heart started to slow down, now that Jae was all the way across the room. God, how was he going to solve this mess?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I take requests for fanfictions at the link https://booksfanficsandstuff.tumblr.com or in the comments section, the groups I write for are in my profile ^.^

Brian didn’t know how long it would take for Jae to put his ‘get Brian and Dowoon together’ plan into action. However, he wasn’t expecting it to be so soon. He had hoped to get a few days to prepare himself, before the older did something that would inevitably throw the band’s balance off and unleash Wonpil’s fury. He wasn’t so lucky. He hadn’t even gotten over that morning’s shower incident, and Jae was already trying to throw him into another embarrassing situation. Unknowingly, of course. But still.

They were settling down to eat, their takeout having just arrived, when Dowoon sat down and Jae nudged Brian. The younger looked at him, frowning, and Jae gestured towards the spot next to Dowoon. Brian groaned internally and eyed Wonpil. He would absolutely die if he took the spot next to the drummer. He shook his head to Jae.

The guitarist frowned and gestured again mouthing a ‘c’mon, just do it!’, giving Brian another nudge, this one a bit stronger. ‘Dude, no’ mouthed Brian. ‘Yes’ mouthed Jae back. The bassist shook his head and before he knew it him and Jae were having a head shaking competition.

“Uhn, Brian? Jae hyung?” Brian and Jae froze and slowly moved to look at Sungjin. The leader was staring at them, an eyebrow raised. Brian blinked. Wonpil was nowhere to be seen, but Dowoon was also looking at them as if they were crazy. “Are you two ok?”

Asked Sungjin. Brian knew he was blushing, but the fact that Jae’s cheeks were also dusted pink made him feel a bit better.

“Y-yeah, we were just… discussing something.” Said Jae, as if it was a reasonable explanation. Sungjin opened his mouth to say something, but the oldest interrupted him. “Well, what are we waiting for? I’m starving!”

He said, and sat – read: threw himself – down, pulling Brian with him. Making the bassist end up next to Dowoon. Brian panicked. Wonpil was going to…

The door to the living room opened and in came Wonpil, a water bottle in his hands. He stopped in the middle of the room, eyes zeroing on Brian. He squinted his eyes. Brian gulped and scurried to get up, quickly moving to sit opposite of Dowoon. The drummer tilted his head.

“Hyung?”

He questioned. Brian shook his head. Sungjin seemed about to burst out laughing, and Brian glared at him. He smirked and sat down next to the bassist and Wonpil took his usual seat next to Dowoon. Brian sighed in relief. Crisis averted. He would live at least a little longer.

And then he turned to Jae, only to see the boy frowning. He sighed internally. He should have told the boy he had a crush on Sungjin. A lie for a lie, at least he had a chance of getting out of that one with only his ego bruised, instead of his whole body. As it was, he could only wait and pray for the best. Maybe he should talk to Wonpil…

 

Later that night, Brian found Wonpil in his room. As expected, he was with Dowoon, the two boys watching something together on the older’s computer. He knocked on the open door, only to let them know that he was there.

“Hyung, hey!”

Greeted Dowoon, smiling cutely. Brian smiled at the boy. Dowoon might be weird and have a deep ass voice, but he was adorable most of the time.

“Hey. Uhn, can I talk to Wonpil for a second, Dowoonie?”

The maknae looked at his hyung, confused, then at Wonpil who nodded, and then got up.

“I’ll be in the living room, hyung, call me when you’re done.”

He said to Wonpil, leaving the room. Wonpil’s smile watching the younger go was so soft it made Brian’s heart ache. He wondered if he looked like that when… no. No, he didn’t, because Wonpil was in love, and he wasn’t. He just had a stupid crush that would pass soon.

“So…”

Started Brian, sitting down next to the younger and picking on a loose strand of his own shirt.

“You’re not blind, Brian hyung. And you aren’t stupid either. I know you’ve noticed what… how I… about Dowoonie.”

Brian looked up, eyes wide. Wonpil was looking at him expectantly, seeming a bit uneasy, but confident. Brian nodded.

“You like him. I don’t think it’s possible not to notice.”

He said, softly. Wonpil nodded.

“So what was that earlier, hyung?”

Brian sighed. He had expected Wonpil to be angry, or teasing, but the younger seemed almost sad.

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.” Wonpil prompted him on. Brian rubbed the back of his neck. “So… it’s possible that, uhn… that Jae thinks I have a crush on Dowoonie. I don’t! I swear, I just…”

Brian gave up on explaining himself, knowing that the only way to truly explain was to tell the truth and that he wasn’t willing to do that, and looked down, expecting the worst. But Wonpil was silent. And then he snorted.

“How did you manage to make Jae hyung think that, hyung?”

Brian groaned. Wonpil may seem cute – he was, sometimes – but he could be a little shit when he wanted to. He’s tease Brian for ages if he found out.

“I don’t know! I didn’t even say anything, and then he came up to me and told that he knew I had a crush on Dowoonie.”

If was true. Partially. But Wonpil clearly didn’t buy it. He raised an eyebrow.

“C’mon, he can’t just have come up with that out of nowhere. I would understand if he said that to me, but to you? There’s something you’re not telling me, hyung. Should I call Jae hyung and ask him?”

See? A little shit.

“No! For god’s sake, I’m already fucked enough as it is, you don’t need to contribute to Jae’s craziness.”

He said rubbing his temples. He could feel a headache coming. Wonpil laughed.

“Well?”

He prompted. Brian came to the conclusion that he had the worst friends in the world.

“Ok, I may have told Jae that I had a crush on someone. And then he decided he would find out who it was and help me get with them. And, uhn, yeah.”

Brian finished, lamely. That was as much as he was willing to tell. Wonpil was looking at him with interest. Brian should have anticipated the question that followed.

“So, you have a crush on someone, hyung?”

Worst. Friends. Ever.

“Shut up. Jae is already enough of a headache, I don’t want to have to worry about you too.”

Wonpil laughed.

“Well, you were the one who came to talk to me, hyung.”

He teased. Brian rolled his eyes.

“I didn't come here to talk about boys. I came because I can see Jae won’t let this go, and I didn’t want to end up killed by you.”

Wonpil laughed again and nodded.

“So it's a boy. Not that I expected anything else." Said the younger boy, and Brian blushed, noticing what he had said. he cursed himself. "I’ll try to keep that in mind, hyung. Now leave, me and Dowoonie were watching a movie.”

He told Brian, waving the other off. Brian smirked. He figured he could tease Wonpil a little bit too.

“And does Dowoonie know you like him?”

He asked, smirking. Wonpil blushed.

“Shut up, hyung. I can call Jae hyung anytime and tell him who your real crush is.”

Said the younger boy. Brian’s eyes widened and his smirk immediately disappeared.

“I, you, but I didn’t…”

Wonpil chuckled.

“Let’s just say I have a guess, hyung. And I think it’s pretty accurate.”

Brian left the room fearing for his life more than he had when he entered it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL! So, Day6 completely destroyed me with their last teaser, and now I'm just waiting for my death via their MV. It was good knowing you guys ^.^


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I take requests for fanfictions at the link https://booksfanficsandstuff.tumblr.com or in the comments section, the groups I write for are in my profile ^.^  
> (Or if anyone wants to come and just fangirl/fanboy or scream at me about some band, I'm up for it too)

On the next day, there was something off. That is, other then Jae shoving Brian so he would sit next to Dowoon on the van, and Wonpil sulking through the whole trip to the JYP building.

Brian couldn’t exactly tell what it was, but he felt as if something was missing. He wondered if he had forgotten something, but couldn’t think of anything. He tried to remember if he’d forgotten to turn off the stove or left the dorm without locking the door, but he remembered doing both. So he didn’t know what that empty feeling was. It was driving him crazy.  
That is, until Sungjin called a ten-minute break on their practice and Brian turned to Jae, out of habit, only for the boy to smirk at him and run to the other side of the room, jumping on Wonpil. Sungjin rolled his eyes at the boy’s antics and left the room, claiming he’d be back in ten minutes.

Brian was confused for a second, until he noticed that if Sungjin was out and Jae was bothering Wonpil, he had the perfect chance to talk to Dowoon. Fuck. He was going to kill Jae. That if Wonpil didn’t kill them both before he had the chance. He felt someone next to him and turned to see Dowoon. He glanced at Wonpil, to find the boy glaring at him.

“Hyung, what is Jae hyung doing?”

Asked the maknae. Brian sighed.

“I have no idea, Dowoonie.”

He said. It was better than the truth.

 

Brian had never before wanted so much for a break to be over, but if he had to look at Jae throw one more flirty comment at Wonpil he was sure he would murder someone. Him and Dowoon had sat down against one of the practice room’s walls and were watching the other two boys joking around, and Brian felt as if a hand was squeezing his throat.

Jae was showing something to Wonpil on his phone, one arm around the boy’s shoulder, and the two of them were laughing, and Brian felt like crying. And the worst was that he couldn’t even tell what hurt more, if it was the fact that it wasn’t him there laughing with Jae, or the fact that Jae was doing to Wonpil the exact same thing he did with Brian. An arm around the shoulder, playful nudges all of that.

Those were things, Brian noticed, that he thought were reserved to him and only him. He hadn’t realized it, but apparently his heart processed that as a sign that Jae liked him a bit more than he liked the others, and maybe in a different way. And now he was painfully aware that it wasn’t quite like that, that it was just Jae being Jae. The realization felt a bit like being punched.

“Hyung?”

Called Dowoon. Brian managed to tear his eyes from the two boys across the room and looked at the maknae by his side.

“Yes, Dowoonie?”

He asked, trying to keep his voice from shaking. Dowoon frowned.

“Are you ok? You look sad…”

Brian smiled sadly. Dowoon was too precious.

“I’m fine. A bit tired.”

He said, ruffling the boy’s hair. Dowoon eyed him suspiciously, then sighed.

“Ok, I’ll believe you. But if there’s something bothering you, you shouldn’t keep it to yourself, hyung. Ok?”

Brian had to swallow down the urge to spill everything to Dowoon. He nodded.

“Don’t worry, maknae, I won’t.”

He was lying too much, recently.

The maknae looked like he was about to say something else when Sungjin entered the room again.

“Alright, guys, break is over. Let’s go from the beginning.”

Brian sighed in relief as Jae let go of Wonpil and got up, even if it meant having to put up with the oldest whining about being tired.

 

They practiced for two more hours, until the leader finally decided it was enough and called it a day. Brian let his eyes close for a bit, tired, and when he opened hem again he was greeted by Jae’s face only a few inches away from his. His eyes widened and he jerked back, almost falling on his ass. Jae snorted. Brian glared at him. He wasn’t in the mood to play.

“What do you want?”

He asked, tiredly. Jae smiled, and Brian hated the way it made his heart race.

“Wanted to hear you thanking me for my wonderful job as a wingman.”

Said the older. Brian blushed and was about to shush Jae when he noticed that the room was empty, except for the two of them. Uh. For how long had he closed his eyes?

“When the hell did the others leave?”

He asked. Jae laughed.

“They just left, you haven’t been asleep for two hours. Just a couple of minutes.”

Brian nodded, dazed. Damn, he was really tired.

“Shouldn’t we go, too?”

He asked, still avoiding the topic Jae had brought up. The older hummed.

“I suggested you put your bass away first.”

He teased. Just then Brian noticed that he was still holding his bass. He rolled his eyes at the older’s smug grin and proceeded to gather his things.

“Let’s go. Manager will be pissed if we stay much longer.”

And saying that he left the room, Jae trailing after him.

“So, how was today? I got you a lot of time with Dowoonie.”

Started Jae, again. Brian sighed. It would be harder than he thought to avoid the topic.

“It was ok.”

He said, hoping it would be enough. Jae frowned, turning around and walking backwards so he could look at Brian.

“Just ok? C’mon, it’s your crush. You should have seen fireworks or wherever it is that happens when you’re with your crush.”

Brian snorted.

“You’ve been watching too many movies, Jae.”

The older stuck his tongue out at Brian.

“Ok, maybe not fireworks but…”

Brian’s eyes widened.

“Jae!”

Brian screamed, reaching forward on impulse and grabbing the older by the waist and pulling him towards himself. Away from the stairs down which Jae had almost just fallen.

“Dude, you gotta be more…” he noticed hoe close him and Jae were. His brain seemed to melt. “Careful.”

He finished. Jae was pressed against him, hands on Brian’s chest and eyes wide, looking directly into Brian’s own eyes. Brian's heart was beating so hard he wondered if Jae could hear it. Or feel it, which was as likely with how close they were.

“I, uhn…”

Jae was interrupted by someone clearing their throat. Both boys scrambled away from each other, as if they had been doing something wrong, only to come face to face with Im Jaebum.

“Am I… interrupting something?”

Asked the boy. Brian could feel his cheeks heating up.

“Yeah, our hot and passionate make out session.”

Sassed Jae. Brian almost snorted at the way Jaebum’s eyes widened, but he knew better than to let the boy walk away believing that. He hit Jae’s arm.

“He’s kidding, Jaebum. This kid just almost fell down the stairs because he was walking backwards.”

Jae pouted at him and Jaebum nodded, seeming relieved.

“Oh. Be more careful next time, Jae hyung.”

Said the boy, the almost parental tone probably acquired from years of dealing with the rest of his band.

“Yeah, yeah, will do.”

Said Jae, and Brian smiled. Jae was embarrassed about the situation, and it was strangely amusing to see the usually composed boy like that.

They bid their goodbyes to Jaebum and continued on their way, this time walking normally. Brian noticed, as they reached the company’s door, that he’d successfully avoided further interrogation. He smiled gladly, as he ignored the way it had felt to have Jae pressed against him.


	7. Chapter 7

Unfortunately, Brian's happiness was short-lived.

As the days passed, Jae seemed to be doing everything to get Brian and Dowoon alone together. He’d drag Wonpil around, sometimes along with Sungjin – although the leader usually just disappeared without needing to be told to – and leave the bassist and the drummer alone with each other, and Brian knew he should do something to stop that. He could see how much it was annoying Wonpil, but worse than that, he could see how sad Wonpil became when the oldest dragged him away, leaving Brian and Wonpil alone.

Brian thought he knew the feeling. Wonpil and Dowoon used to spend a lot of time together. During breaks, when they got home, when they had a rare free afternoon or morning. And then suddenly he barely saw the other boy, having instead to put up with Jae’s hyper personality. It must hurt. Brian would know, because it was exactly what had happened with him and Jae.

Jae had played right into his game, and they barely hung out anymore, just like Brian had wanted. It turns out, though, that the effect this had in him was the opposite of the one he wanted. He’d thought that being away from Jae would make him forget that he had a crush, would kill the butterflies in his stomach. However, all it did was make him aware of how big a part Jae played in his life.

He became hyper aware of how much he liked hearing Jae’s stupid jokes every time he saw the boy laughing and Wonpil rolling his eyes; how relaxing Jae’s constant talking was when Brian had too much in his mind, when he noticed the boy’s mouth moving a million miles a minute, and Wonpil next to him, looking at the ceiling tiredly.

He noticed how comfortable it was to have Jae’s arms around his waist when the older decided he wanted to sleep in Brian’s bed when he woke up for the forth night in a row alone in his bed; and how Jae managed to cheer him up during the hardest days of practice when he turned around, expecting the boy’s stupid comments to make him laugh and found him pulling Wonpil away from the room.

So, yeah, having the older stop doing those things had made him be aware of them, and Brian couldn’t help but to notice that this stupid crush of his had never been just a crush. He was in love with Jae, and he had been for a long time. And he knew he should do something about that, if not for himself then for Wonpil and Dowoon. But he didn’t have the courage to do what needed to be done. Not anymore.

 

“Hyung, I swear to god, if you don’t solve this mess in three days I’ll throw you and Jae hyung both out of the window.”

Brian looked up from where he was lying in his bed, only to see Wonpil next to it, arms crossed and glaring at him. He sighed and sat up.

“You think I don’t want to? I’m in the same situation, Wonpil, I… I miss him as much as you miss Dowoon.”

He confessed. It seemed to make Wonpil’s eyes soften a bit. The younger sighed.

“Just talk to him, hyung. The worst that can happen in him telling you he doesn’t feel the same.” Brian gaped. He didn’t remember telling the younger about his crush. Wonpil raised an eyebrow and scoffed. “Oh, please, hyung. You’re painfully obvious. You should see your face whenever you look at Jae hyung.”

Brian could feel a blush rising to his cheeks.

“D-do you think he noticed it?”

He asked. Wonpil shrugged.

“Don’t think so. He is bent on getting you and Dowoonie together, after all.” Brian sighed, half in relief and half in desperation. “My advice still stand, hyung. Just talk to him.”  
Brian shook his head.

“I can’t… I can’t do that.”

Wonpil shrugged.

“Well, you better do something. My threat still stands, too, hyung. Three days, no more, no less.”

And with that he left the room. Brian wondered if maybe they should cut the boy’s access to Disney movies.

 

On the next day, as soon as Sungjin opened his mouth to tell them to take a break, Brian was already putting his bass down and grabbing Jae’s wrist. He could see Wonpil smiling, from the corner of his eyes, but ignored it, helping Jae put his guitar away and pulling the boy out of the practice room while Sungjin yelled at them to be back in ten minutes.

“Brian, hey, Brian. Dude, where are you dragging me? Brian?”

Brian didn’t know where he was taking Jae, or what he intended to do in those ten minutes, but Wonpil’s threatening face was quite scary. So he just shrugged and continued pulling Jae by the wrist, until they were at the doors of Brian’s studio. The bassist tilted his head. He hadn’t intended to go there, but it seemed like a good enough choice. He entered and finally let go of Jae’s hand, sitting down.

The older boy stood at the door, looking at Brian as if he was crazy. The younger blushed. Firstly because he was alone with Jae for the first time in a while, and secondly because he’d dragged the boy there on an impulse, and he didn’t really have an explanation if the boy asked what he wanted. He bit his lip.

“You can sit down, you know?”

Jae snorted and pulled a chair.

“So, why the sudden kidnapping? You’re wasting time that you could be spending with Dowoon.”

Brian refrained from rolling his eyes.

“You’re not a waste of time.”

He mumbled, only half intentionally. Jae seemed taken aback.

“Oh. That’s not what I meant, but ok.”

There was silence. It was suffocating. Brian thought wistfully on the time him and Jae could be alone in silence without it being awkward.

“You’re being too obvious.”

He decided to say. Because only half a minute had passed since they stopped talking and Brian already felt like bursting. Jae tilted his head and it was adorable and damnit, Brian was so gone for him.

“What do you mean?”

He asked. Brian had to look away from him to answer.

“I mean you suddenly changed the whole dynamics of the team, dragging Wonpil away like that every time you see a chance.”

He explained. It wasn’t a lie, exactly. It just wasn’t the reason Brian was upset. Jae laughed.

“Well, yeah, I guess I did. But you got to spend a lot of time with Dowoonie. How’s it going?”

Brian sighed. Jae looked so excited, and it broke Brian’s heart that the older was this excited about a fake crush. That the older was this excited about Brian liking someone else.

“You really don’t have to do that, Jae.”

He tried, ignoring the older’s question. Jae rolled his eyes and slid his chair closer to Brian.

“Brian, my dude, my man. I’m your best friend, dude. It’s my job to help you with theses things.” Brian wanted to cry. Those words stung more than he thought they should, and Jae’s arm around his shoulder just made everything even more bittersweet. “Just trust me, ok? I’m giving the chance of a lifetime; you just have to use it. Now c’mon, let’s go back.”

And saying that he got up, motioning for Brian to follow him. Brian closed his eyes for a second. Maybe he should just tell Jae and end this mess once and for all. But he didn’t have the courage too. Not again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not too sure about this chapter, but oh well......


	8. Chapter 8

Things came to a boiling point three days later, something Brian should have predicted, considering he was warned about it. After that one failed attempt of getting Jae to leave Wonpil alone and stop dragging him around, Brian didn’t try anything else. He didn’t think he could do it without raising suspicion from the guitarist.

Occasionally, Wonpil would send him these glances. He had a hard time reading them, because there were so many emotions in his eyes at the same time, but he could tell it was something between pity and frustration. Brian hated it. He wished he could erase that look from the boy’s eyes, but the only way to do that would be confronting Jae, and he’d rather not do that. So he just took it and pretended the whole situation wasn’t just a ticking time bomb.

 

They had just arrived at the dorm, when it happened.

On the way back, Jae had thrown an arm around Wonpil’s and Sungjin’s shoulders, ignoring the youngest – who tried to insist on waiting for Dowoon – and dragging them away. Brian could see, as he walked after them, Dowoon by his side, that Wonpil was done with the situation. His hands were clenched into fists and he wasn’t responding at all to Jae’s jokes. Brian bit his lip. This wasn’t looking good.

When him and Dowoon entered the dorm, taking off their shoes, Sungjin was by the kitchen door, watching with wide eyes the scene in front of him. Which, at the moment, was Jae and Wonpil facing each other, frowning. Brian opened his mouth to ask what was going on, when Wonpil spoke up.

“Me and Dowoonie are going to watch a movie, hyung, whether you want us to or not.”

He said.

Oh. So this was what this was about. Brian wondered if it was too late to turn back and run away. Maybe back to Canada. Dowoon, by his side, had wide eyes and a worried expression. Before Jae could reply he spoke up.

“Wonpil hyung, it’s ok, we can just watch it another day.”

Tried the boy. All eyes turned to him and Brian winced. He knew the maknae was just trying to avoid conflict, but he’d probably just made things worse. Wonpil looked at the boy, then at Brian, before walking up to Dowoon and stopping in front of him.

“I want to watch it today.”

He said. And then he fisted his hands on Dowoon’s jumper and pulled the boy towards him, planting a kiss on the maknae’s lips. Brian’s eyes widened, and when he looked around he could see Sungjin and Jae were just as surprised as him.

For a few seconds nothing happened, and then Wonpil pulled back, not letting go of Dowoon’s jumper. He was looking at Dowoon in the eyes, but his cheeks were red and Brian could see a hint of fear in his gaze. Plus, his hands were shaking. Dowoon wasn’t faring much better. His ears were as red as tomatoes, and he was gaping at Wonpil.

“Hyung…” Whined the maknae. Brian held his breath, almost unconsciously. He was scared of what Dowoon would say, and if Wonpil’s slightly shaking lips were anything to go by, he was too. But then Dowoon buried his face on the older boy’s chest. “Did you have to do this in front of everyone?”

The smile that lit Wonpil’s face could have blinded them. Brian chuckled and soon everyone was laughing in relief. Dowoon’s ears were still red, and Wonpil was still shaking slightly, but he hugged the younger closer, and when Dowoon came out of his hiding place, Brian saw the happy smile on his face.

“Well, took you two long enough.” Said Sungjin, as everyone stopped laughing. Wonpil and Dowoon looked at each other, smiling embarrassedly. “Oh, c’mon, go watch your movie and be gross somewhere else.”

Said the leader, noticing the two youngest were dying to be alone.

Wonpil took Dowoon’s hand shyly and the maknae’s smile grew – if that was possible – as they headed to their room.

Once the two boys were gone, Sungjin turned to Jae and Brian.

“Well. That was an eventful evening.”

He said, and headed to the kitchen. And that left Brian alone with Jae.

 

Brian bit his lip and turned around. Jae was looking at him sadly.

“Hey. Are you ok?”

Brian sighed. He knew this was coming, but he didn’t know what to do. He was glad Wonpil and Dowoon had gotten together, but now he was fucked.

"Yeah, I'm happy for them."

He ended up answering. Jae frowned.

"Where did that even come from? I didn't know Wonpil liked Dowoonie like that."

Brian snorted, before he could stop himself.

"Dude, he's been in love with the maknae since before Junhyeok left."

He said, the ex-member's name scratching his throat, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

Jae's eyes were wide.

"Since.... wait, what? Are you for real?"

He seemed so incredulous Brian felt like laughing. He didn't, though.

"It was quite obvious, really."

Jae seemed to be trying to understand the situation.

"Then... then why did you...?"

Brian bit his lip. He couldn't just say that it had all been a lie. Jae would be hurt and would demand to know the truth, and Brian didn't have an excuse. He didn't know what to do.  
He ended up shrugging, hoping it would be enough. Jae frowned.

"You don't seem that sad. Are you sure you liked Dowoonie?"

Brian tried not to react, tried to school his features into a somewhat sad expression, but it didn't seem to be working.

"I... it's... it's complicated."

Jae threw his arms up, a small frown on his face.

"Dude! I've been dragging the little snake around for nothing? Are you serious? Why did you lie?"

Brian sighed. He just hoped the truth could be avoided.

"I didn't, exactly. You were the one who assumed I liked him."

It was the wrong thing to say. Jae's frown deepened.

"Yeah, and you didn't correct me. You let me believe that. Why?"

Brian's heart was racing and his hands were starting to sweat, and he wished he could just disappear from the world.

"I didn't... I just... you..."

Jae huffed, exasperated. 

"Just tell me already, stop freaking stalling, dude."

Brian gulped.

"I don't..."

The words seemed to be stuck to his throat, and the way Jae was glaring at him didn't help. His expression was too similar to the one Brian had seen on Junhyeok's face, after he told the boy, and he hadn't even said anything to Jae yet. It made him want to cry. Jae sighed, but it sounded angry.

"Just tell me, for fucks sake!"

"I like you!"

The words were out before Brian could even think about it, and as soon as they came out the boy wanted to shove them back inside. But he couldn't. Jae was looking at him, eyes wide. He didn't seem angry anymore, but he didn't look happy either. He looked stunned.

"You..."

He started, but no other words came out. Brian wanted to run and hide.

"Fuck. Look, I'm sorry, ok? I-I didn't mean to... you weren't supposed to know, so can we just like... forget about it?" Jae was still staring at him. Brian felt his cheeks reddening, uncomfortable with the attention "Jae..."

He started, reaching for the boy, but the older flinched and Brian dropped his hand, his heart breaking into a million pieces. He felt tears start to well in his eyes. He knew this would be like this, just like it had been with Junhyeok.

"I... I remembered I left something at the company. I-I'll see you later."

Said the older, breaking the silence and rushing to the door, almost forgetting to tie his shoes in his hurry.

As Brian watched the door close he let the tears fall from his eyes. He'd fucked up. Again.


	9. Chapter 9

Jae was panicking. Or, well, not anymore. He’d panicked back at the dorm and then run away. Right now he was ‘just’ going through a crisis.

 

He was half way to the company building before he even noticed where he was going. He shrugged to himself, deciding that since he was already half way there he might as well just go curl up in one of the silent studios. He needed to think, anyways.

As he walked he sighed, rubbing his eyes. An image flashed behind his closed eyelids, Brian’s expression when Jae flinched away from him, and the guitarist immediately opened his eyes again, wincing as if the memory could physically hurt him. He bit his bottom lip, which was already destroyed from him chewing on it as he walked. He tried to organize his thoughts.

Brian had lied. Brian didn’t like Dowoon. Brian liked him. Brian liked him like that. If it hadn’t been obvious from the way he said it, it was obvious from the way he reacted to his own words. Brian never meant to tell Jae about this. Brian…

Jae groaned, ignoring the way an old lady stared at him, startled. His head was spinning and it was beginning to hurt. He didn’t want to think about this, but at the same time he needed to organize things in a way they made sense. Because right now, nothing made sense.

Brian liked him. That was what baffled Jae the most. Because… because why in hell would Brian like him? It wasn’t possible. The possibility had never even crossed his mind. No one had ever liked Jae; he’d already come to terms with the idea that he was too loud and sarcastic for anyone to actually like him. And then Brian came in and… and… it didn’t make fucking sense.

The problem, though, was that that little piece of information did make a lot of things make sense. Like the way Brian had blushed when he woke up next to Jae a few days prior. Or the way the bassist had started blushing when Jae made his usual jokes. It scared Jae. He’d never even thought of that, and to be suddenly thrown into that situation was disorientating. He felt dizzy.

As he arrived at the company, he headed directly to their practice room. He knew no one would be there at that time, and no one would come in any time soon, so it was the best place to stay. He sat down against the wall and sighed. And then before he knew it, he was asleep.

 

Brian stayed looking at the door for at least five more minutes after it closed behind Jae. Somewhere during that time his tears stopped falling and now there were only drying treks on his cheeks. He felt dizzy. He felt as if his whole world had been turned upside down. The way Jae had flinched away from him kept replaying in his mind again and again and Brian just wanted it to stop.

“Brian?”

He blinked, coming back to reality. He didn’t turn around. He didn’t want Sungjin to see his red eyes; he didn’t want to explain to the older what had happened.

“Yes, hyung?”

He answered instead, trying to stop his voice from cracking and failing.

“What are you doing standing there? Where is Jae?”

Brian dug his nails on the palm of his hand, not wanting to start crying again.

“Jae left. Forgot something in the company.”

He said. Sungjin hummed and for a second Brian thought he’d gone back to the kitchen, but then there was a hand on his chin, pulling his face up and then he was face to face with Sungjin. The leader was frowning, and Brian hated himself a little bit more for making the older worry.

“You were crying. What happened?”

Brian pulled his face away from Sungjin’s hand and shrugged.

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

He said. He wasn’t in the mood for an interrogation that would most likely end with Sungjin pitying him.

“Brian…”

Tried the leader.

“I said it’s nothing, hyung. Just leave it, ok?”

And saying that Brian headed to his room, closing the door behind him.

 

He was in his bed, writing lyrics and trying not to think of anything that wasn’t the next verse for his song, when Wonpil walked in. Brian ignored him as the boy sat by his side on the bed, and the two stayed like that for a while, until Wonpil sighed and held Brian’s hand.

Brian didn’t look up. He had a feeling that if he did he would start crying again and this was the last thing he wanted.

“I’m gonna take a wild guess here, hyung, and say you told Jae hyung.”

So much for not crying. He could feel the tears forming in his eyes. He hated it. It had been ages since he last cried; having it happen two times in one day was ridiculous.

“You could say that.”

He answered. Wonpil’s hold on his hand tightened and he guessed how his voice must have sounded.

“Didn’t go well, did it?”

Brian laughed bitterly.

“I don’t think you need an answer to that.”

The younger sighed.

“You need to give him time, hyung. Until today he thought you liked Dowoonie, so to find out that you were lying and that you like him… well, it must be a bit confusing, don’t you think?”

Brian sighed, drying the tears on his cheeks angrily with the sleeves of his shirt.

“I don’t think it’s a matter of time, Wonpil. You didn’t see the way… nothing is ever going to be same again. He hates me.”

He said, finally looking at Wonpil. The boy was frowning.

“Don’t say that, hyung, Jae hyung will never hate you. Even if he doesn’t like you back, he’s never going to hate you. Especially because of that.”

The way Jae had looked at him, the way he’d flinched away, it all flashed before Brian’s eyes. It made it hard for him to believe the younger’s words, but he shrugged nonetheless.

“If you say so.”

He said. Wonpil sighed.

“Hyung. Just listen to me, ok? Give it time. It’ll be ok, you just have to be patient. Ok?”

Brian sighed, but nodded. He doubted Wonpil was right, but he didn’t say so. He simply nodded and let Wonpil hug him, and watched as the boy left the room, probably to go back to Dowoon. He sighed again. Why could his life be that simple?


	10. Chapter 10

Brian didn’t want to admit how much he’d wanted for Wonpil to be right, about Jae needing time. But when the guitarist came back home later that night and headed directly to their room without even acknowledging Brian’s existence, it became obvious that he’d hoped a lot for that. He sighed, ignoring the way Wonpil was looking at him worriedly and turned his attention back to the bowl of food in front of him.

A few minutes later Jae came out of their room, grabbed a bowl, served himself and told the others he’d be eating in his room. Sungjin seemed like he wanted to complain, but something in Jae’s eyes must have stopped him, because he closed his mouth and let the boy go. Brian closed his eyes. He wasn’t going to cry in front of the others. He refused.

 

On the next day Jae didn’t talk to Brian either. He asked Sungjin about their schedule, teased Dowoon about not sleeping in his bed and complained about Wonpil tainting their maknae, but didn’t talk to Brian. He didn’t even mention Brian or look at him. It was like he didn’t exist.

It made Brian’s heart break even more, if it was possible. And it reminded him of Junhyeok’s behaviour, right before the boy went off and found himself a girlfriend.

Brian still blamed himself for the boy’s expulsion. Because it had been his fault, in a way. If he hadn’t told the boy about his stupid feelings, than Junhyeok wouldn’t have felt the need to go and get a girlfriend, and then he’d still be in the band and… Brian shook his head. He didn’t want to think about that right now. He was already having a hard enough time without poking old injuries.

He sighed, watching Jae laugh with Dowoon and got up. More than half of his breakfast was still in his plate, but he didn’t feel like eating.

 

Jae bit his lip as he watched Brian leave the room. He could see the boy was hurting. It was obvious in the way his eyes were downcast and in the way he looked like he might start crying every time he looked at Jae. The guitarist felt guilty. He didn’t want to hurt Brian. Even the idea was enough to make him sick. And yet, here he was. Doing just that.

He didn’t know what was keeping him from talking to Brian, but he had a feeling it was the fact that he didn’t know what he would say, if he did talk to the younger. His mind was still all scrambled with thoughts, and he didn’t know how he felt about the whole situation. So what was he supposed to say? ‘Hey, Brian, you like me and that’s cool, but I have no idea how I feel because I never thought anyone could ever like me’? Yeah, he’d rather not.

He knew he should probably at least let the boy know that he wasn’t mad, that he didn’t hate him, but for some reason he was unable to even look at Brian properly, let alone talk to him. So he didn’t. He watched with his heart aching as Brian pretended to be alright when he clearly wasn’t, and let the boy suffer alone, even though he wanted to comfort him so badly.

He noticed he’d been staring at the door when he felt eyes on him. He blinked and turned to his side to see Wonpil staring at him. ‘What?’, he mouthed. The younger shook his head and continued eating, feeding Dowoon occasionally. They were cute. Too cute. Jae pushed his bowl away. He didn’t feel like eating anymore.

 

“I told you it wasn’t a matter of time.”

Said Brian, as Wonpil sat by his side on the bed. Three days had passed since the incident with Jae, and the guitarist hadn’t talked to him since. Brian thought it would have stopped hurting so much by then, but every time Jae turned away from him his heart twisted and broke all over again. It sucked. I was worse than it had been with Junhyeok.

“I don’t understand.” Admitted Wonpil. “I mean, he looks miserable, and he keeps looking at you like he wants to talk to you, but he… he never does. I don’t know what’s holding him back.”

Brian sighed, putting his notebook aside. He knew he wouldn’t be able to write anymore on that evening, anyways.

“He probably hates me.”

He said, shrugging as if it didn’t hurt him to think of that. Wonpil shook his head.

“That’s not it. It’s definitely not it, hyung.”

Brian looked at the younger.

“Then what is it?”

He asked. Wonpil bit his lip. He didn’t have an answer. Of course he didn’t. Instead, the younger took Brian’s hand and squeezed it.

“Just hold on a little longer, hyung. Things will work out. You’ll see.”

He said, getting up to leave. Brian felt tears welling up in his eyes and looked up to keep them from falling. He didn’t want to cry, he’d been crying too much recently.

“I hope you’re right.”

He said to himself, as Wonpil left the room.

 

On the next day, Dowoon glued himself to Brian. The bassist was confused. Wonpil and Dowoon had been hanging from each other since they’d gotten together a few days earlier, so Brian was surprised to see the two willingly separating from each other.

He didn’t complain, though. If he was being honest, he had been feeling lonely since the whole thing with Jae. The older was his best friend, after all, at least before all of that mess. Of course he missed him.

So when Dowoon threw his arm around Brian and refused to let go, Brian only chuckled and allowed the boy, glad to have someone by his side. He didn’t notice the look on Jae’s face as he watched them nor the look on Wonpil’s face as he watched Jae.

Practice went on as usual, although it was more silent than it used to be when Jae and Brian still talked to each other, and when Sungjin finally decided they’d practiced enough, Brian found himself once again with an armful of Dowoon. He chuckled.

“Are you ok, Dowoonie? Shouldn’t you be trying to kill your boyfriend with hugs, instead of me?”

He teased. Dowoon blushed and whined cutely at the word ‘boyfriend’. It was adorable.

“Hyung~ I want to be with you today.”

Was all the explanation he gave. Brian didn’t press him. Once again he missed the look on Jae’s face.

 

What Brian didn’t miss, though, was the way Wonpil dragged Jae into his room as soon as they were all in the dorm, warning the others to ‘not come in’ as he closed the door. Brian raised an eyebrow and looked at Sungjin, who shrugged, then at Dowoon. The younger smiled at him.

“Don’t worry, hyung. Wonpilie hyung knows what he’s doing.”

This didn’t do much to reassure Brian, but now the only thing he could do was wait.

Turns out he didn't have to wait much. Half an hour later, Brian and Dowoon were watching a movie on Brian’s bed when someone entered the room. The bassist looked up, expecting to see Wonpil coming to get his boyfriend, and his eyes widened when he noticed it wasn’t Wonpil at the door. It was Jae.

In the last few days, ever since Brian’s confession, Jae had been avoiding entering the room when Brian was in it, often going there only to sleep and nothing else. But now there he was. Looking at Brian for the first time in days.

Brian watched him, apprehensively, as the boy stopped in front of him.

“Can we talk?”

Asked Jae, bitting his bottom lip. Brian blinked once, then again, ignoring the way his heart seemed to be trying to burst out of his chest. Dowoon, by his side, cleared his throat.

“Uhn, I’ll… I’ll go talk to Wonpil hyung.”

He said, and left the room in a hurry. It was just Jae and Brian now. This would be good.


	11. Chapter 11

After a few seconds of silence, during which the two boys only stared at each other, Brian sat up straight, making space for Jae to sit down. The older seemed to take the hint and soon the boys were both sitting on Brian’s bed, facing each other.

Brian could tell Jae was nervous; he was playing with his shirt and his lips were so red he was sure the older had been biting on it, a nervous habit of his. But he didn’t notice much more than that, because he was too focused on the way like his heart was beating way too fast from being so close to Jae after so much time (don’t judge him, it’s only been a few days, but it had felt like years).

His eyes searched for Jae’s for a hint of what was to come, but the older boy was looking down, making Brian’s job harder. So he had no idea whatsoever of where the conversation they were about to have might lead them. And so he waited. Jae was the one who came looking for him, he should be the one with something to say.

After another two minutes of awkward silence, he finally sighed and started talking.

“I think I own you an apology.”

Said the guitarist. Brian raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t been expecting that. Maybe a ‘look, this is all very awkward and we shouldn’t be so close anymore’ or a straight on ‘I hate you’, but not an apology.

“Uhn…”

He said, eloquently. Jae still wasn’t facing him. He was looking at the bed, and had began to chew on his lip again.

“I shouldn’t have run away and I shouldn’t have ignored you. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

Said the older. He sounded sincere, and he looked so dejected that Brian’s instinct was to reach over, pull the boy into a hug and tell him that everything was ok. He didn’t, though, they still had things to work out.

“Why did you do it, then?”

It came out more aggressively than Brian had intended, and in that moment he noticed how angry he was at Jae. For running away, for ignoring him, for letting him go days wondering if he’d destroyed their friendship. He saw the boy flinch, but this time he didn’t feel that bad for him.

“I just… I was confused. I wasn’t expecting that.”

And yeah, ok, Brian knows he kind of just threw it on the other boy, no warning or anything else. But Jae should’ve noticed, Brian was obvious, or so Wonpil had told him. And Dowoon too. And even Sungjin (Brian almost blushed, remembering the way the leader had come to him to ask if this distance between him and Jae was because of Brian’s crush).

“Do you hate me?”

Was what came out of Brian’s mouth next, and his eyes widened. He had not meant to say that. Where the hell was his brain to mouth filter? At that, though, Jae’s head shot up, and he looked at Brian for the first time since he sat down. He had a pained expression in his face.

“What?”

Brian waited, but when Jae didn’t say anything else he shrugged.

“For liking you. I understand it if you do. It must be awkward for you.”

Jae was staring at him, mouth slightly open. Brian looked down and rubbed the back of his neck. Why couldn’t Jae just…

“Brian. Brian, oh my god, please tell me you don’t really think that I hate you.” Jae’s voice was desperate. “Brian, I could never, ever, hate you.”

He said, and then his hand was fisted on Brian’s shirt and before Brian knew it, Jae was hugging him. It was awkward. Jae’s knee was pressing one of his legs, and it hurt, and Brian’s other leg was squished between them. But it felt so good. Brian breathed in deeply, noticing how much he’d missed Jae’s smell and the way his arms felt warm against Brian.

When Jae pulled away, Brian saw tears in his eyes, although he wasn’t crying. It made him want to hug Jae again, and chase that sadness in his eyes away.

“But you… you ran away.”

He said, instead. Jae shook his head.

“I know. I shouldn’t have. I know that. But I told you already. I was confused. I still am. I just… I don’t get it. I don’t understand why… how…”

He stopped and bit his lip. This time Brian gave in and reached forward, running his thumb along Jae’s lip.

“You shouldn’t bite on it this much.” He said. Jae let go, eyes wide, and was that a blush on his cheeks? “And it’s quite simple, you know? What is it that you don’t get? I like you. Simple as that.”

Jae sighed and made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat.

“I just… why?” Brian tilted his head. Jae sighed again. “Why would you… why would you like me?”

Brian frowned. What was Jae on about?

“What do you mean?”

Jae gestured with his hands towards himself, vaguely, but when Brian continued to frown he rubbed the back of his neck and looked down.

“I’m not… worthy of that. I’m too loud and weird and sarcastic, I don’t see why…”

What? What the hell?

“Don’t” Brian started, and he must have sounded as angry as he felt, because Jae stopped immediately and looked at him, eyes wide. “Don’t you ever say that again, Jae. I don’t know where you got that idea from, but don’t you dare believe it.”

Jae looked down, and Brian noticed he was squeezing the boy’s wrist. But he didn’t let go. He needed Jae to understand this.

“I…”

Brian didn’t let the boy continue.

“You are perfect. You have flaws, like everyone else, Jae. But you are a good person and you always do your best and that’s what counts. If people don’t see what an amazing person you are, then it’s their loss. Because I see, and I wouldn’t want you to be any other way. Please tell me you understand this.”

By then Jae was actually crying. There was a tear running down his cheek, and he wasn’t facing Brian, but he nodded. He nodded and Brian breathed in deeply, just then noticing how shallow his breathing had been in the past minute.

“I’m sorry.”

Jae whispered. Brian chuckled, but there were tears in his eyes too.

“For what are you apologizing?”

Jae laughed.

“I don’t know.”

And then they both burst out laughing. Maybe it was the relief of finally opening up, after bottling their feelings for so long. Maybe it was the tension melting. But whatever it was, it felt good. It felt freeing.

When they finally stopped laughing, Jae dried his cheeks and looked at Brian. He had a little smile on his lips.

“It’s true what I told you, though. I don’t hate you, I would never, but I’m still confused. I never thought of that. I… I didn’t think I’d ever have a reason to think of that.”

Brian reached forwards and held the boy’s hand, squeezing it. Jae smiled at him, softly.

“It’s ok to be confused. You don’t have to decide anything now.”

Jae sighed.

“I… I don’t want to just leave you hanging, without an answer.” Brian opened his mouth to reply, but Jae interrupted him. “Can I kiss you?”

Brian’s eyed widened. Had he heard that correctly?

“W-what?”

Jae’s face was red all over, but Brian was pretty sure his own wasn’t much better.

“I… I wanna know how it feels. You can deny, obviously. I just…”

Brian put his hand on Jae’s cheek, softly. The boy looked at him, and those wide eyes made Brian want to kiss Jae until he forgot his own name. 

“Jae. Just shut up and kiss me.”

Said the bassist, smirking. But then Jae smirked back and leaned forward, brushing his nose against Brian’s, and the younger felt his heart skip a beat. He closed his eyes.

Jae’s lips were as soft as Brian imagined they would be.

At first they didn’t move, only pressing their lips against each other’s softly. But then Jae tilted his head slightly and moved his lips, deepening the kiss, and Brian sighed into it. When Jae licked his bottom lip, the bassist opened his mouth, easily letting the other dominate him. Jae's hand came to rest on his hips and Brian moved his to the boy’s hair, softly pulling on it. The noise Jae made was enough for Brian to completely melt on the older’s embrace, and he bit on Jae’s bottom lip, a punishment for making him feel like he was burning all over.

When they separated, they were both breathless. Jae’s hair was all messed from where Brian ran his hands through, and their lips were red and slightly swollen. There was a blush on Jae’s cheeks. Brian found it adorable.

“That… was something.”

Said the older. Brian chuckled. That was an understatement.

“Still confused?”

He asked. Jae snorted.

“Yup. Completely. I think we should try this a few more times.”

Brian smirked at him. He didn't waste time in sitting on Jae’s lap and kissing the boy again. They could figure the rest out along the way.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My cats woke me up at 5:30AM, so you guys get a chapter!

They lay in bed together, after a while kissing. Brian’s head was on Jae’s chest, and the older was running his hand through the bassist’s hair. It felt good, and Brian sighed, snuggling closer the Jae. He buried his nose on the crook of the other’s neck, taking in his smell, his warmness. And then Jae giggled. Brian smiled, tilting his head up to look at the older.

“Oh, ticklish, are we?”

He teased, and then grazed his teeth against the boy’s neck.

Jae laughed, but Brian could see the blush on his cheeks and feel the shiver that ran through the boy’s body. He smiled, satisfied, and Jae hit him lightly.

“Arsehole.”

He mumbled, but there was no bite to it, as he pressed a kiss to the top of Brian’s head. Brian could feel the smile spreading on his own face, as he looked at the older and kissed him on the lips, relishing in the way Jae closed his eyes and sighed happily against his mouth.

“You taste good.”

Brian blurted out when they separated, and then his eyes widened, because he wasn’t meant to say that out loud. But then he looked at Jae, and the boy was looking down, a wide smile on his face and a deep blush on his cheeks, and Brian concluded that he could let things like that slip once in a while, if this was the reaction we got.

“And to think we could have been doing this for longer…” He said. He turned to Brian. “Why didn’t you say anything? Why lie about Dowoonie and put us through this mess?”

There was no accusation in his words, he just sounded like he genuinely wanted to know Brian’s reasoning. The younger moved so his head was lying on the pillow and sighed, looking at Jae.

“You told me you were confused, which is why you didn’t talk to me. Well, as was scared. I was scared of ruining our friendship, the band, everything we worked so hard for…” He thought for a second, and then added. “I was scared it would end the same way it did with Junhyeok.”

At that Jae frowned, and Brian looked down, hoping he hadn’t just ruined everything.

“What do you mean, the same way it ended with Junhyeok?”

Brian ran a hand through his hair. Maybe he shouldn’t have told Jae this, but it was out there now, there was no turning back.

“It’s just, uhn… back then, in the beginning, I… I used to like Junhyeok. I don’t know why. I don’t remember why I fell for him, and looking back it doesn’t make sense to me. But I did. And I tried to ignore it for a while, but when I noticed that that feeling would go away anytime soon, I decided to tell him. I wasn’t exactly expecting him to like me back, or anything, but… but I guess I did hope for it. And the reality couldn’t be farther from that.” Jae was looking at him, and his eyes were unreadable. Brian breathed in deeply. He hated thinking about that day, and he had never talked about it before. “He freaked out. He told me that it was weird, and that he had no problem with ‘gay people’, but that he’d rather not sleep in the same room as me anymore.”

At that Jae’s eyes widened. He was probably remembering the day Junhyeok had asked him to change rooms. The day Jae moved into Brian’s and Dowoon’s room.

“I-I didn’t know… I had no idea…”

Brian shook his head.

“Of course you didn’t. I didn’t want people to know, and he didn’t either. So we said nothing, let you guys think what you wanted. We knew you wouldn’t think much of it.” Jae looked sad. “And, well, if it had been just that, it would have been fine. I didn’t love him. I thought I did, back then, but now I see it was just some stupid crush, that would have passed with time. I could have gotten over him easily. But Junhyeok… I don’t know, he freaked out. You probably remember this. When he started spending as little time as possible with us, going out alone, coming back late. I tried talking to him, but it probably just pushed him further away. And then he found himself a girlfriend. I still feel guilty about him getting kicked out. It was my fault. I didn’t… I shouldn’t…”

Brian felt Jae sit up. He closed his eyes, expecting the worst. For Jae to yell at him for causing them to lose a member, for Jae to blame him for what had happened, for anything. Instead, he felt Jae pulling him up, and then hugging him so tightly that he almost lost his breath.

Brian only noticed he was crying when Jae told him so.

“Hey, it’s ok. Don’t cry. It’s ok.”

His voice was so soft it made Brian want to cry more. The younger buried his face on Jae’s neck and hugged the older back, fisting his hands on the back of Jae’s shirt. It felt good, to cry like that, because Jae was with him. Jae was with him, and he wouldn’t let Brian fall.

When Brian stopped crying, Jae go of him. He reached forward and dried Brian’s cheeks, then pressed a shy kiss to one of them. Brian smiled, despite everything.

“You told me to listen to you, earlier, and I did, Brian, so now I need you to do that for me, ok?” Brian nodded. “What happened wasn’t your fault. Junhyeok was a grown man and he made his own decisions. He’s the only one to blame for this, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for having feelings just because he made bad choices. I don’t want you to blame yourself for that anymore. Ok?”

Brian sighed. He had been telling himself that, recently, but this was the first time he actually believed it. And maybe he could do this. Maybe he could stop blaming himself and get rid of that little piece of sadness and guilt once and for all.

“Ok.”

He answered, and Jae smiled, pulling him closer, so they were lying down again. Brian’s head on Jae’s chest. It fit perfectly.

“And I think you should tell the others too. But when can think about that later.”

Brian smiled, and Jae’s hand started running through his hair again. It felt perfect.

 

“So, have you two finally talked?”

Brian looked up, to see Wonpil standing by the door, smirking at them. He blushed and sat up, glaring at the younger. He could feel Jae sitting up, too, and when he looked he saw the boy’s cheeks were as red as his.

“Yup. We did.”

Brian said. Wonpil’s smile grew.

“Sooooo?”

Brian rolled his eyes, but laughed.

“I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

He said, teasingly. Wonpil’s affronted expression made him laugh again, and he could feel Jae laughing by his side, too.

“Excuse me? I had to watch you flirting with the guy I liked. I had to listen to you crying over that chicken by your side, had to almost hit Jae hyung so he’d come talk to you… and you say it’s not my business?”

Brian knew he was joking, but he blushed nonetheless. In the end, it was Jae who answered him.

“Shut up, you little snake. There’s nothing to tell. Yet.”

Brian smiled, despite his embarrassment. Yet. That sounded good. Wonpil sighed, dramatically.

“Whatever, I’m sure one of you will come running to tell me all about what happened here, sooner or later. I’ll be waiting.”

He said. Jae and Brian laughed embarrassedly and Wonpil smiled, turning to leave the room.

Brian turned to Jae. The boy was looking down at the bed, cheeks red, but a smile still in his lips.

“Yet, hum?”

He asked. Jae’s blush deepened and Brian chuckled, then held the older’s chin and made him look up, kissing him right on the lips. Jae was still smiling when they separated.

“Yet.”

He repeated.


	13. Chapter 13

Brian didn’t know why he was so nervous. It wasn’t like they didn’t know. All of their band-mates had caught him and Jae kissing enough times to know that there was something going on between them. And there had never been a comment other then ‘Oh, c’mon, not here’, or ‘You’re gross’, always accompanied by a smile that showed that it was simply a joke. So there really wasn’t a reason to be nervous. And yet, Brian was almost shaking.

“Bri, are you ok? You look a bit… pale.”

Said Jae. Brian shrugged.

“I know there’s no reason to be nervous, but… well, I’m nervous.”

Jae laughed and walked to him, hugging him from behind and bending to rest his head on Brian’s shoulder.

“It’ll be ok. It’s not like they don’t know.”

He said, and kissed Brian’s cheek.

Brian smiled and turned around, holding Jae’s waist and kissing him on the lips. Jae laughed against the kiss, and it sounded so fond it made Brian’s heart beat faster.

“Yah, stop trying to distract me.”

Said the older, laughing and pushing Brian away. Brian rolled his eyes but smiled.

“Ok, whatever, let’s go then.”

He said, but didn’t move until Jae huffed and held his hand, pulling him out of the room.

 

Sungjin was on his phone, leaning against the couch and Wonpil and Dowoon were cuddling while watching a movie. Brian bit his lip, once again feeling a wave of nervousness, but there was no going back now. Jae stopped in front of the TV, making the couple on the couch whine.

“Hyung! We were watching that!”

Complained Wonpil, trying to shove Jae away with his foot and kicking Sungjin on the process. The leader simply rolled his eyes and locked his phone, putting it down.

“Yah, you brat. I’m here to tell you important news and you’re worried about a stupid movie? I tell the fans that you’re snake and no one believes me, I wish they could see this.”

Everyone rolled their eyes at Jae’s dramatic speech and Wonpil tried to kick him once again, while Dowoon watched, a small smile on his lips. Brian noticed the maknae looking at their intertwined hands and blushed.

“Whatever, hyung. What do you want to say, anyways, that you and Brian hyung are fucking? Cause we know that already.”

He said. Jae raised an eyebrow. The room went silent, except for the sound of the movie. Wonpil looked at Jae, tilting his head.

“Oh god, are you serious? Did you really come here just to tell us this?”

Asked Sungjin. Brian looked at the floor, blushing. Jae’s hold on his hand stretched.

“Well, I was gonna say we’re dating, but since Wonpilie is so interested in fucking we could…”

A series of loud whines, complains and a chorus of ‘hyung~’ sounded across the room, interrupting Jae’s proposal, and Brian couldn’t help but to laugh. Jae had huge smile on his lips, and the other three were smile, despite their disgusted sounds.

“God, you’re so disgusting, hyung. Go make out with your boyfriend and let us watch our movie in peace.”

Complained Wonpil. Brian saw the little glint on Jae’s eyes and knew that whatever was on the older’s mind wouldn’t end well. But before he could do anything Jae’s smile grew.

“Well, you told me to do it.”

He said, and pulled Brian closer, kissing him straight in the mouth. Brian was pretty sure the others were screaming again for them to stop, but he was barely listening. For the first time he didn’t care that they were seeing, that they knew. He had everything he needed.


End file.
